Tuesday, March 9, 2010

On the Mark

Mark Shea has the culture of death's number in this post. Particularly disturbing is the article about child-sized condoms.

Whenever I read articles like this I have a little game I like to play. I first learned of this game from one of my brothers. Take the title and lyrics of any love song and substitute the word "fudge" for "love". For example, U2's "One"

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it


becomes

One fudge
One life
(you can change that to 'knife' to make it even more fun!)
When it's one need
In the night
One fudge
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it


See how amusing that can be? Now try something similar with the article about the folks who are making condoms for 12 year olds and the lunatics who are applauding them. Instead of using the word "fudge", let's replace all references to sexual activity with references to smoking:

Extra light cigarettes for boys as young as 12 could soon be on our shelves. 

The Huffin'n'Puffin Funstix are going on sale in Switzerland after research found that not enough 12 to 14-year-old boys were paying attention to their nicotine ingestion.

The cigarettes are likely to end up on sale in Britain, said their manufacturer Screwtape Amusements Inc. A spokesman said the UK would be ‘top priority’ if the company expanded abroad, considering it had the highest teenage smoking rate in Europe. D. Wormwood said: ‘At the moment we are only producing the Funstix in Switzerland. ‘But the UK is certainly a very attractive market since there is a very high rate of underage smoking.’ 


A standard cigarette has a nicotine content of 1.0 to 2.1 milligrams in comparison with the Funstix's 0.75 milligrams. Both are the same length – 190mm.

According to a study of 13 to 20-year-olds, a quarter said that a standard cigarette was too tarry.
B. Eezlebub, of teenage smokers' rights group Straight Talking Puffer Education, said: ‘We know young people are smoking and if this is what it takes to protect them, we need to go along with it.’

How far do you think that would fly?

4 comments:

  1. Get real! What post-modern boy is going to buy an "extra-small" prophylactic? Especially if he's had lots of self-esteem education.
    Sighs matters.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just for the record. It was jeffy weffy Foo Foo Berry who came up with the 'fudge' idea. Credit where credit should be credited if one can remember to credit the right person or persons.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, I was not sure who first came up with that. I don't think Jeffy will mind if I consider him my brother.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cuz, like in Shakespeare's day, he would have been. Your brother, I mean. And Jane Austen's day too.

    ReplyDelete