Saturday, February 10, 2018

Should I apply for a government arts grant?

I think I should. Call me strange, but one of the things I enjoy about gardening is seeing the extremely weird things that vegetables can do. Here, two little twin baby onions decided to sprout from another dried up old onion. I liked the different textures and interesting layers, and I photographed it from different angles, partly so that I could use it as a model for drawing class exercises with my 13-year old. (We're using Betty Edwards' text/method this year.)

But maybe I should also try to launch an Art career. I could photoshop the background a bit (make it more blurry, and maybe pinkish), print the images up on large canvasses, and write up an abstract about how these sprouts...

  "represent a non-triggering overview and non-misogynoiristic analysis of the sub-artificiality concept and transmisogyny of feminist social diversity, inclusion and equity research: namely, defining its central empowering theoretical persepective elements contrasted with those of traditionally-defined male-centered “scientific” research, since the major epistemological perspectives and the central methodologies and contextual factors of woke feminist social research involve the performativity and juxtapositionality of interrelationships of intersectionality of feminist existential cohesion/rebellion against cis-normative gender stereotypes, the gender pay-gap, Emosogyny, submissive commodification seen through positionality, resiliency, and problematicalism viewed through alternating lenses of power theory, critical theory and common-couple-violence theory... in a contra-anti-non-patriarchal framework."*

I would get a Canada Council grant for sure. I would call my exhibition "Onion Breath."

*I bet you think this description really came from some Women's Studies academic research papers website. You're right! I mixed up words from five or six different papers, and added some of my own. And made some words up. Which is odd, because, as the saying goes, you can't make this stuff up.

And I mean that. This lady has received prizes (and probably government funding) for her 'art'. Enjoy!


(H/T SDA and here.)


  1. You should definitely apply. I'm extremely moved by the video. There is a profound sadness welling inside me that 1.30 minutes of my life were spent pondering what on earth I was watching. Followed swiftly by a feeling of overwhelming despair that the artist will never fully realize the extent of her imbecility.

  2. Thanks, Maryanne. I must admit that I also watched the entire video. I kept waiting for her to DO something (or say something) or SOMETHING, other than what she was actually doing. This stuff is so beyond satire! Our tax dollars at work. No wonder our war veterans are committing suicide, when our leaders can fund this stuff, not not take care of veteran amputees.