Sunday, December 19, 2010

What a super awesome idea!!

Study recommends free booze for homeless alcoholics.

"It's kind of saving money. I know people think this is crazy, spending taxpayers money giving alcohol to this population, but we do it for methadone, for heroin addicts, why not for alcohol addicts?"
Let's not stop there - why don't we erect special stores where kleptomaniacs can steal stuff without the risk of getting chased into oncoming traffic? They would contain items already paid for with tax money, so it wouldn't cost anything! We could also provide free kiddie porn to pedophiles on a weekly basis - make it soft core, with digital images instead of pictures of real children, and there's no harm done. I'm also looking forward to the specially authorized fast food joints that will dole out McNuggets in carefully controlled quantities in order to keep gluttons from pigging out and giving themselves heart attacks. Maybe we could do something for smokers while we're at it. That's an addiction, too, and even though chain smoking doesn't generally result in disorderly conduct or arrest, you can't deny that it causes health problems down the road. Perhaps a pack of low-tar ciggies once a week would make everything better.

I think what we really need is a closed off, highly controlled, publicly funded place where researchers can go to get a weekly dose of feeling like they are doing something usefu- oh, wait, never mind.

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