And why he can’t write a complete sentence.
And why he doesn’t know who Jane Austen is.
Or Chaucer. Or Tolstoy.
Remember high school English, anyone over
50? You did two things, basically: they were known as “Lit and Comp” As in
studying “Literature” (good books, plays, poems and stuff) and then writing things. That was Composition. (That
included grammar, style, sentence structure, literary devices, rhetoric, all
that jazz.)
No more. Now they study Equity, Ethics,
Diversity, Inclusivity and a host of other diseases.
Yes, I homeschool, but when my kids reach the
high school years, they usually opt to do (credited) online courses. This is so that they can get transcripts to get into
post-secondary and so forth. Yes, I know there are other ways to do high school at home; that's a discussion for another day.
The online classes vary widely: they come
from a variety of different sources (individual school boards all over the
province provide courses; there is no longer any such thing as the
one-size-fits-all “Government Correspondence School”). There have
been some good courses and many excellent teachers. Other times, not so much.
Oh, the funny stories I could tell. Like
the teacher who revealed (via a Power Point lecture) that he couldn’t
read/pronounce “tuberculosis,” (but his version, “Turb-you-locus” kept us in
stitches for months).
I can relate the anecdote below now that the child in
question has finished high school and left home. In fact, I can’t even remember
which school board in the province developed this English course. I just recall
that it made my head explode on a fairly regular basis.
The first section “Equity and Ethics” of my
daughter’s grade 10 English course dealt with "learning styles" (fair enough,
since it helps students identify theirs) but then followed the questions below
(keep in mind: this is the VERY FIRST ASSIGNMENT of the year, in a course meant
for 15-year-olds.)
(I have taken the liberty of providing my
own answers, in red. They are not the answers my daughter gave to the questions
when she did the assignments.)
1. A
student is blind, but wants to take visual art as a course in Grade 10. The
student cannot see, yet a major portion of the Grade 10 course is all about the
colour wheel and it is mandatory that every student in the class does a project
involving the visual effects of colour on design trends. Ethically, how should
that student be assessed on their [sic] learning for this part of the course?
1) Response:
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
Yes, should they so opt, blind
students have the right to study visual art, just as a quadriplegic likely has
the right to be on the track team. If they can’t “see” colour (what is “seeing”
anyway?), there are ways to “feel” and “intuit” colour. You just need a teacher
who is sufficiently imaginative, artsy or new-agey to assist with that.
A blind artist could not
possibly produce anything worse than some of the modern art that is already out
there. To demonstrate “yellow” for instance, one could submerge a photo of
Jackson Pollock in a jar of pee.
Oh, and the [sic] in the last
sentence? “Their” is a plural pronoun, and the antecedent (“the student”) is
singular. But then it’s not as though we’re studying Grammar and Usage or
anything. This is just high school English.
2. A
deaf student is registered in the Distance Learning B10 course, in which there
are a number of listening and speaking activities. It is required that all
students demonstrate their skills with listening and speaking, but it is decided
that this student does not have to do these portions of the course. Another
student who is extremely shy to speak aloud is failing the course because she
did not do any of those activities. What is the ethical thing the teacher
should do here?
Response:
The teacher should take a
leave of absence, possibly to university, and take courses such as Ethics and Equity, Psychology, and
Curriculum Implementation: Brainstorming Solutions in an Inclusive World, instead
of asking her 15-year old students to solve her classroom problems for her.
3.
Johnny is a student who has extreme difficulty with keeping his hands still
while in English class. Often, during reading time, he is disruptive and
interrupts the quiet atmosphere the teacher has created in the classroom so all
can concentrate. The teacher spends a lot of time trying to keep Johnny quiet,
and his parents have refused the request to send Johnny to another room with a
teaching assistant during reading time. Ethically, what should be done to
provide an opportunity for Johnny to learn, as well as time for the rest of the
class to read?
Response:
1) It had to be “Johnny”,
didn’t it?
2) Johnny should be held
down forcibly and given his dose of Ritalin.
3) Johnny’s parents are
evil and stupid. It’s not a solution, but we do want to reinforce this point in
the child’s mind.
4) Sentence two is
self-contradictory: if Johnny is being constantly disruptive, then is it
accurate to claim that the teacher has created a “quiet atmosphere” in the
classroom? But then, they don’t teach Logic in Teachers’ College anymore.
5) Johnny’s parents (who
are probably being maligned, since no parents in such a situation would refuse
the one-on-one services of a TA, knowing that their child was a disruption) should
withdraw him from school and home-educate him.
Wow. Is it just me, or is it absolutely
INSANE to expect 15-year-old kids to be able to solve these kinds of dilemmas?
What are we paying teachers and school counsellors and psychologists for (to
say nothing of the gargantuan bureaucracies that develop curricula and administer programs)?
But as Gary Larson’s cartoon caveman would
say, “It get better.”
The next section in my daughter’s "English" course was called:
We Want to Know How Superstitious,
Anti-Choice, Reactionary, Conservative, Anti-LabourUnion and Bigoted Your
Parents Are
Factors
that Influence our Learning
Students are asked to answer the following:
1.
What are your views on work?
2.
What do you believe about death and an afterlife?
3.
Summarize what you believe about criminals and the justice system.
4.
Do you think terminally ill people should be allowed to end their own lives, or
not? Please explain your answer.
5.
Should Canada allow illegal immigrants into the country, and assist them
financially once they “in”? Support your views with at least one solid reason.
For the love of Learning, this is NOT the
study of law, sociology, class warfare, or contentious social issues! Can
anyone explain to me what any of this has to do with the study of English?? This is ENGLISH (Lit! Comp!) not
Political Correctness 101.
Equity and Ethics indeed.
When do they get around to studying
“Sentence Construction”? I’m not going to hold my breath.
.
