Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Pink, swallow your coffee and put the cup down before you watch this.

 Update: It only took me about seven hours to clue in to "Stanford Nutting" being a play on "Stand for nothing". D'OH!

h/t Mark Shea

Mark Shea quoted me! Whooo-hoooo!

I am jolly proud to say that the highlighted portion was the comment I left at his blog after the first of his "Jolly Pride" articles:

The Church needs to get with the times: the New York Times, to be precise. We're out and we're stout! Deal with it! Or, as one of our LGBT sisters says: Keep your rosaries off our XXXL hosiery! Down with Weighcism!

 Do partake of this latest serving.

A link from Steyn and a quote by Shea, all in the same year! DOH is on a roll!!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Speaking of CBC themes, this one actually gave me nightmares.

That anyone at the CBC thought this counted as "music" speaks volumes about our national broadcaster. I wonder if it has lyrics?

Sing it with me!

"Now your mind belongs to us,
-leftward lurch, leftward lurch-
Don't think, don't speak, don't make a fuss,
-leftward lurch, leftward lurch-"

What to do with "OUR CBC"

  Kate at SDA alerts her readers to a neon "Kick Me" sign which Friends of Canadian Broadcasting have unwittingly Scotch-taped to the CBC's back. Complaints from the SDA comments section mention the CBC's left-wing bias, the use of tax money to fund the corporation, and its general irrelevance in a society where information is readily available from many other (non-state-funded) sources. All very good points.

  When I was growing up in Saskatchewan, we had two channels: CBC from Medicine Hat, and CBC from Swift Current. For part of the year they were broadcasting from different time zones, so whatever you missed on channel 2 you could watch an hour later on channel 4. Looking at it now from my Ontario vantage point, I think this provides an excellent example of what the CBC is all about: geographically or ideologically, you get a view from the left at 6 p.m. and a view from the farther left at 7 p.m., and it all amounts to the same thing.  CBC dominated the radio at our house, too - A.M. 540 was the station that came in the most clearly, so that was where my Dad's set was tuned all the time. I don't think CBC radio was as intolerable as CBC TV - I don't know how he could have stood it otherwise. (The "As It Happens" theme song never fails to make me think of suppertime at home, so that's one of a few non-soul-destroying effects the CBC has had on my life, along with the joy derived from Hockey Night in Canada and Wayne and Shuster.) Gee, maybe I'll go to the CBC website and link to the beloved and familiar HNIC theme song...oh, wait....

  If my childhood memories serve me correctly, the only other shows that the CBC ever aired were  Hymn Sing and Front Page Challenge, and each episode lasted approximately one thousand hours, especially if you had been hoping Disney was on.  The upside to two CBC channels was that we had the chance to catch The Wonderful World of Disney twice every Sunday. It was just like today's TV on demand...except for that a state broadcaster chose what you were going to watch and you always had to be ready to start watching it exactly one hour after it was first broadcast. Still, two hours of Sport Goofy was pretty entertaining. Of course, that was back in the bad old days when the CBC wasn't as fully engaged in telling us what it meant to be authentically Canadian, as they have done recently by broadcasting Dr. Who and as they continue to do by scheduling  three hour blocks of Coronation Street. Funny how almost everything I ever wanted to watch on the CBC wasn't made by the CBC.

  In grade school I entered several creative writing contests held by CBC radio, and  I took away my share of loot, including a tiny portable Sony radio. Obviously I won the prize because I was able to keep my conservative views out of my poem about the sun coming up. I now consider these items a 0.00000000000000000000001% return on the taxes I pay to keep the CBC churning out its dreck. I know that doesn't make the rest of you feel any better, but you can borrow my radio (and my CBC toque) when you come to visit. I promise that by then I will have embroidered "PRIVATIZE THE" in big red letters in front of the CBC logo.

 My little radio still works 24 years later, but I don't use its radio function much anymore. I mostly plug my iPod into it and use it for a speaker... so that I never have to listen to or watch what I'm paying for the CBC to produce. These days it's easy for most people to plug into something more useful than a biased, state-funded dinosaur for their information, and as for isolated places where it isn't easy - well, is spending a billion dollars a year to funnel crap to them really worth it?  I'd be surprised if many Canadians feel like the CBC is telling their story, as it has claimed. Corner Gas comes a heck of a lot closer to telling my story, at least all the funny parts of it where I imagine I'm friends with Brent Butt. I think we're done with "our" CBC. Can we have OUR money back now?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

EXTRA - Super Lib Saves Our Country From Shane Doan!

 What worries me is, who will police hockey players' speech when the Liberals finally return to power and are too busy wrecking Canada to tend to these kinds of important matters?

I'm shocked - shocked, I tell you - to learn that rude and sometimes even hurtful speech is bandied about on this nation's ice hockey surfaces. Hockey sounds almost as non-warm and fuzzy as politics. They should get a third guy - er, person - in the broadcasting booth to provide "off-color commentary" so that this kind of deplorable thing can be denounced even as it is happening!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Ruffled Fur

The more hysterical critics of this stupid and cruel prank are threatening the perpetrator with death and saying she should be "dismembered". She might well wonder what the big deal is, since humans the world over regularly dispose of their "unwanted" offspring by dumping them in the trash, and many people don't seem to mind at all.

This morning Google news boasts over 1200 articles related to the story. I can't decide if people are really this deranged or if, as Kate McMillan would say, "The world still has too many reporters."

Monday, August 23, 2010

The blog you plug may be your own.

Bad Catholic.  Sounds like it's right up my alley. I thought I'd give them some publicity 'cause, you know, we have so many readers here.

Anyway, a friend of Flannery is a friend of mine.

(h/t Mark Shea)


Best birthday greeting of 2010 (next to the flowers--thanks, Mo; the case of Mike's--thanks Jo; Amazon gift certificate--thanks, Mr. P and assorted kinder; and fully awesome chocolate cheesecake, that is.)
Cyber cards from Puckety:

Mrs. Jones made this for me:

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Calling all cars

Andrea at PWPL is embarking on an interesting project. This is the comment I left there:

Here’s my Feminine Myth Pique, which not only tells the world everything it thinks it needs to know about pro-lifers who happen to be Catholic, but is also a great showcase for culture-of-death logic at its finest:
Catholics are anti-choice because the Church “sees women as baby machines”. (Direct quote from my grade 11 English teacher.) (That’s why it also holds that renting someone else’s womb, for instance, is contrary to human dignity and the natural law.) Also, Catholics are touchy about issues surrounding abortion because they hate and fear sex so much… which is obvious from the large families they are routinely ridiculed for having.

"Precious, precious Us...."

Mark Shea hits one out of the park.

The World According to Dr. Seuss

Recent stories on this topic make me think of this Seuss classic. Except for that we don't seem to have reached the part where the moose uses his common sense.

I'm shocked - shocked, I tell you!

I took a trip to my local Chapters today and saw a wall display which was entitled, "The World Needs More Canada". There were some books about Trudeau, and some about canoeing, and some about Trudeau canoeing, but not a single volume by Mark Steyn.

I know! I can't believe it either.

UPDATE: Welcome Steyn readers! And thanks for the link, Mr. Steyn.

That's the ticket.

Someone around here is very lucky.

I had to chuckle at this:

At a five-per-cent rate of return on interest and investments, when you factor in tax, the winner could make $625,000 a year off $25 million in winnings, she said. That’s a lot of money, but not enough to live a truly lavish lifestyle forever.

Six hundred twenty-five thousand dollars a year would more than buy all the lavish I've ever wanted. I'm dreaming of it now...a bedroom big enough to have two nightstands in it.... a dining room where you can walk around the table and chairs without hitting your elbows on the wall...a trip to Saskatchewan every month...a brand new set of rabbit ears with its own stand.....

I guess it all depends on what your definition of lavish is, although I will concede that, were you to actually live for an extraordinarily long time, you and your winnings would eventually be swallowed up when the sun went supernova and consumed the entire earth, including your $500 bottles of wine. But that's probably not your first concern when you've just won $25 million.

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Albums We Never Listen To

For the estimated 33-67% of DOH's readers who are Blue Rodeo fans, I have made a brief survey of their latest album, The Things We Left Behind. Aside from "Sheba" and "One Light Left in Heaven", first results are not encouraging.

Come on, guys! I've been sticking with you for a good 20 years.  Are you really offering me another album composed mostly of Greg Keelor singing in successively tighter pairs of underpants while a cello plays soulfully in the background? Thank goodness for Jim Cuddy.

I hope this album can grow on me. Meanwhile, give this a try.

Can't they both lose?

Government educational bureaucracy vs. teachers' union.

I love this quote from a related article:

Union locals around the province have also proposed that the federation endorse a call for more mandatory physical activity each day, voice-care workshops for teachers in music, gym and language, and that the curriculum include information about the labour movement.

Less time on math and literacy, more time singing "There is Power in a Union".

There seems to be an abundance of time for taking field trips to the ice slides during Winterlude and demonstrating how to put condoms on bananas, but apparently when they have to prepare for some math and literacy tests, the cry goes up that "It's taking away from precious teaching time!!"

What are they doing (or not doing) every day in school that necessitates this arduous, extra-special time of preparation for basic skill testing?

Throw some cold water on this idea.

This could really alter the way we think about the universal solvent...not to mention how it would change the meaning of many common idioms:

"He's dead in the water!"
"Jack's life is water under the bridge."
"Come hell or high water...depending on whether or not you believe in the afterlife."
"Who was that blond drink of water?"
"She is now as dull as dishwater."
"Don't throw out Bob with the bathwater."
"Blood is precisely the same thickness as water."

You get the pitcher.

h/t SDA

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Your irony supplement of the day.

I dropped my car at the dealership today because of a tire problem. During the complementary shuttle ride back to my home, we had to return to the dealership...because of a tire problem.

Water is also leaking into my car's hatch and out of my washing machine. And it's not even Friday the 13th yet.

Time to go and wait for the repairman.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Is that all there is?

Andrea Mrozek at PWPL:

Certainly, it was never a critical goal of feminism to teach girls to be bubble-brained sex objects. I get that. But it seems logical that in forcing all of us to consider sexuality as the main driver of who we are (and in part, that’s what “feminism” does) then a natural response is to let sexuality drive who you are. (Modern feminism included teaching girls they have sex drives, sex lives and sexual desires that are exactly the same as a man’s.) So really, is it so surprising our world is very sexual today? 

Similar thoughts cross my mind whenever I have to run the gauntlet of sex-obsessed "women's" magazines at my local Loblaws checkout. You would think women were good for (and solely interested in the 25 naughtiest ways to do) one thing only.

This is from the Maclean's article upon which Andrea comments, and to which she links in the above post:

Vonk recalls wearing satin hot pants when she was 15. “But it was a different time,” she says. “Back then there was at least equal premium put on intellect and what was in your head. It was the opposite of ‘Go out and please men.’ ” 

I haven't done all the research, but I think wearing satin hot pants may not fall into the "opposite of pleasing men" category. And I doubt that boys who were impressed by her satin hot pants were thinking, "She sure looks like an intellectual." Is it okay to become a sex object as long as your user knows you're smart, too? What level of self-degradation is acceptable for a young woman?

If you're going to extend to an entire generation the license to do whatever they want, don't wonder why they act with complete and selfish abandon.

Because you can't spell 'arses' wihtout the letters S-E-A-R-S

I haven't seen these posters Sears is supposed to be selling, but considering that they have been hawking items stamped with the Playboy logo for several years (nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like a blanket that reminds you of pornography, right?) I don't think actual porn would be much of a stretch for them.  I was also unimpressed by their use of a Rosary to adorn some model's cleavage in their fall catalog a couple of years back. Given the quality of much of their non-brand name merchandise and the level of service we encountered before we gave up shopping there, I'd say this is just one more piece of crap on the pile. 


Brigitte Pellerin at ProWomanProLife asks and answers an important question.

I don't think chivalry is dead. Even in that state, chivalry would not be caught wearing its hat like this:

When all this transpired, chivalry was most likely waiting in line at the concession to get a beer...for a lady friend, of course.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Why yes, I DO want my man to smell like he could bake me a gourmet cake in the dream kitchen he built for me with his own hands!

I would also like him to do all those things, but (to paraphrase Monty Burns) alas, it is beyond the powers of a mere body wash.

I heard about the Old Spice Man Twitter phenomenon from my brother-in-law about a month ago so I am commenting on it in timely fashion. Here's my in-depth assessment of this completely original ad campaign: it's FUNNY! But the concept will only grow stale as other lame-oes try to pile on the bandwagon. So enjoy this advertising innovation before the wheels come right off.

Yes, I am on the cutting edge of social media! What can I say? I am just one ridiculously lazy person. I can't blog about everything.

If they don't think God exists, why do they seem to hate Him so much?

Read this:

I have been a Catholic for a long time and I have never heard the words "atheism" or "atheist" ever mentioned in church. An atheist prior to converting to Catholicism, I can assure you that that community is obsessed with the Church and incapable of discussing anything but the most recent reason for hating us. They never talk about the wonders and glories of atheism. They never raise virtuous atheists as models for themselves and their children. They never organize themselves to help the unfortunate. Frankly, after a couple of years, I simply couldn't take it anymore. I left atheism behind because it was snarky, sniping and moribund, revelling in its bitterness and denial. It is amazing that anyone survives the wholesale rejection of logic and reality, never mind hope, as they cherrypick data to uphold their opinions. 

Then look back at this. (It's the atheism your atheism could smell like.)

Monday, August 9, 2010

In a word, "No. GOshshshsh!!"

This gave me a good laugh. I think it's both interesting and quite telling that an atheist is included in a discussion of different religious viewpoints.

I'm glad he doesn't feel like he has to recruit. His Napoleon-Dynamite-with-a mean-streak method of irrelevant pokes at Christianity isn't all that convincing.

The legacy continues.

Further to my post below. Has anyone at DreamWorks noticed this? I'm starting to feel embarrassed for them. Moreso.

As my oldest son remarked, "At least they aren't animals this time."

Breaking News for the Ontario Human Rights Commission...

... involving a public personality named "Mark" and hurtful statements concerning a certain religious group and mosquitoes!!
(Scroll down to #8.)

Oh, wait...it's just someone slagging Christians. Never mind, OHRC. You've got better things to do.

P.S. Googling for news about the OHRC opens up this rich vein of comedy:

Chief Commissioner Barbara Hall today released the Ontario Human Rights Commission's 2009-2010 Annual Report. In issuing this year's report, Ms. Hall stated, "Our work can be summed up in three words: educate, empower and act..."

I think three better words would be,  "Fire. Them. All."


A Story About Courage

Life Site News features a story about a Lutheran pastor who

"has been outspoken in his defense of traditional marriage and who has criticized the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America for allowing individuals in active homosexual relationships to serve as clergy."

He also deals with his own feelings of same-sex attraction by devoting himself to prayer and striving to live a life of chastity. That these entirely consistent actions were viewed as hypocritical and in need of exposure highlights the profound misunderstanding many people have regarding orthodox Christian teaching about homosexuality - and about sexuality in general. Christianity says to people who experience same-sex attraction just what it says to the single man attracted to a married woman, to the man who is tempted to drink too much, to the woman who is tempted to spend too much, and to all of us sinners: choose the freedom of life in Christ instead of being enslaved by your passions.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

That pretty well sums it up.

Mr. Greydanus posts an amusing and informative illustration contrasting the creative processes at Pixar and Dreamworks.

Competite Your Level!!

This toy my son received at a local restaurant is even more fun when you flip it over and read the instructions:
(Click on image for a larger view.)

For more such fun, see Engrish.com.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Dear Mr. Butt, I am writing this to you....

Now that our Saskatchewan vacation is over, I am treating my homesickness with regular doses of Corner Gas. I love the shots that feature one of my favorite CG characters: the vast and beautiful prairie.
Nothing to get in the way and spoil your view, indeed. Thank you to loyal reader Doris Rose Jones for this lovely photo.

And thank you, Brent Butt. I love you like the ninth brother I never had. (Yes, Jeffy, you are still #8. You did give us the Corner Gas DVDs for Christmas, after all.)