The World According to Dr. Seuss

Recent stories on this topic make me think of this Seuss classic. Except for that we don't seem to have reached the part where the moose uses his common sense.

I'm shocked - shocked, I tell you!

I took a trip to my local Chapters today and saw a wall display which was entitled, "The World Needs More Canada". There were some books about Trudeau, and some about canoeing, and some about Trudeau canoeing, but not a single volume by Mark Steyn.

I know! I can't believe it either.

UPDATE: Welcome Steyn readers! And thanks for the link, Mr. Steyn.

That's the ticket.

Someone around here is very lucky.

I had to chuckle at this:

At a five-per-cent rate of return on interest and investments, when you factor in tax, the winner could make $625,000 a year off $25 million in winnings, she said. That’s a lot of money, but not enough to live a truly lavish lifestyle forever.

Six hundred twenty-five thousand dollars a year would more than buy all the lavish I've ever wanted. I'm dreaming of it now...a bedroom big enough to have two nightstands in it.... a dining room where you can walk around the table and chairs without hitting your elbows on the wall...a trip to Saskatchewan every month...a brand new set of rabbit ears with its own stand.....

I guess it all depends on what your definition of lavish is, although I will concede that, were you to actually live for an extraordinarily long time, you and your winnings would eventually be swallowed up when the sun went supernova and consumed the entire earth, including your $500 bottles of wine. But that's probably not your first concern when you've just won $25 million.

The Albums We Never Listen To

For the estimated 33-67% of DOH's readers who are Blue Rodeo fans, I have made a brief survey of their latest album, The Things We Left Behind. Aside from "Sheba" and "One Light Left in Heaven", first results are not encouraging.

Come on, guys! I've been sticking with you for a good 20 years.  Are you really offering me another album composed mostly of Greg Keelor singing in successively tighter pairs of underpants while a cello plays soulfully in the background? Thank goodness for Jim Cuddy.

I hope this album can grow on me. Meanwhile, give this a try.

Can't they both lose?

Government educational bureaucracy vs. teachers' union.

I love this quote from a related article:

Union locals around the province have also proposed that the federation endorse a call for more mandatory physical activity each day, voice-care workshops for teachers in music, gym and language, and that the curriculum include information about the labour movement.

Less time on math and literacy, more time singing "There is Power in a Union".

There seems to be an abundance of time for taking field trips to the ice slides during Winterlude and demonstrating how to put condoms on bananas, but apparently when they have to prepare for some math and literacy tests, the cry goes up that "It's taking away from precious teaching time!!"

What are they doing (or not doing) every day in school that necessitates this arduous, extra-special time of preparation for basic skill testing?

Throw some cold water on this idea.

This could really alter the way we think about the universal solvent...not to mention how it would change the meaning of many common idioms:

"He's dead in the water!"
"Jack's life is water under the bridge."
"Come hell or high water...depending on whether or not you believe in the afterlife."
"Who was that blond drink of water?"
"She is now as dull as dishwater."
"Don't throw out Bob with the bathwater."
"Blood is precisely the same thickness as water."

You get the pitcher.

h/t SDA

Dan and Anna, this one's for you, with all our love and prayers.

Here's hoping your life-long duet will be as sweet as this one!

Your irony supplement of the day.

I dropped my car at the dealership today because of a tire problem. During the complementary shuttle ride back to my home, we had to return to the dealership...because of a tire problem.

Water is also leaking into my car's hatch and out of my washing machine. And it's not even Friday the 13th yet.

Time to go and wait for the repairman.

Is that all there is?

Andrea Mrozek at PWPL:

Certainly, it was never a critical goal of feminism to teach girls to be bubble-brained sex objects. I get that. But it seems logical that in forcing all of us to consider sexuality as the main driver of who we are (and in part, that’s what “feminism” does) then a natural response is to let sexuality drive who you are. (Modern feminism included teaching girls they have sex drives, sex lives and sexual desires that are exactly the same as a man’s.) So really, is it so surprising our world is very sexual today? 

Similar thoughts cross my mind whenever I have to run the gauntlet of sex-obsessed "women's" magazines at my local Loblaws checkout. You would think women were good for (and solely interested in the 25 naughtiest ways to do) one thing only.

This is from the Maclean's article upon which Andrea comments, and to which she links in the above post:

Vonk recalls wearing satin hot pants when she was 15. “But it was a different time,” she says. “Back then there was at least equal premium put on intellect and what was in your head. It was the opposite of ‘Go out and please men.’ ” 

I haven't done all the research, but I think wearing satin hot pants may not fall into the "opposite of pleasing men" category. And I doubt that boys who were impressed by her satin hot pants were thinking, "She sure looks like an intellectual." Is it okay to become a sex object as long as your user knows you're smart, too? What level of self-degradation is acceptable for a young woman?

If you're going to extend to an entire generation the license to do whatever they want, don't wonder why they act with complete and selfish abandon.

Because you can't spell 'arses' wihtout the letters S-E-A-R-S

I haven't seen these posters Sears is supposed to be selling, but considering that they have been hawking items stamped with the Playboy logo for several years (nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like a blanket that reminds you of pornography, right?) I don't think actual porn would be much of a stretch for them.  I was also unimpressed by their use of a Rosary to adorn some model's cleavage in their fall catalog a couple of years back. Given the quality of much of their non-brand name merchandise and the level of service we encountered before we gave up shopping there, I'd say this is just one more piece of crap on the pile. 

Chivalry

Brigitte Pellerin at ProWomanProLife asks and answers an important question.

I don't think chivalry is dead. Even in that state, chivalry would not be caught wearing its hat like this:



When all this transpired, chivalry was most likely waiting in line at the concession to get a beer...for a lady friend, of course.

Why yes, I DO want my man to smell like he could bake me a gourmet cake in the dream kitchen he built for me with his own hands!

I would also like him to do all those things, but (to paraphrase Monty Burns) alas, it is beyond the powers of a mere body wash.



I heard about the Old Spice Man Twitter phenomenon from my brother-in-law about a month ago so I am commenting on it in timely fashion. Here's my in-depth assessment of this completely original ad campaign: it's FUNNY! But the concept will only grow stale as other lame-oes try to pile on the bandwagon. So enjoy this advertising innovation before the wheels come right off.

Yes, I am on the cutting edge of social media! What can I say? I am just one ridiculously lazy person. I can't blog about everything.

If they don't think God exists, why do they seem to hate Him so much?

Read this:

I have been a Catholic for a long time and I have never heard the words "atheism" or "atheist" ever mentioned in church. An atheist prior to converting to Catholicism, I can assure you that that community is obsessed with the Church and incapable of discussing anything but the most recent reason for hating us. They never talk about the wonders and glories of atheism. They never raise virtuous atheists as models for themselves and their children. They never organize themselves to help the unfortunate. Frankly, after a couple of years, I simply couldn't take it anymore. I left atheism behind because it was snarky, sniping and moribund, revelling in its bitterness and denial. It is amazing that anyone survives the wholesale rejection of logic and reality, never mind hope, as they cherrypick data to uphold their opinions. 

Then look back at this. (It's the atheism your atheism could smell like.)

In a word, "No. GOshshshsh!!"

This gave me a good laugh. I think it's both interesting and quite telling that an atheist is included in a discussion of different religious viewpoints.

I'm glad he doesn't feel like he has to recruit. His Napoleon-Dynamite-with-a mean-streak method of irrelevant pokes at Christianity isn't all that convincing.

The legacy continues.

Further to my post below. Has anyone at DreamWorks noticed this? I'm starting to feel embarrassed for them. Moreso.

As my oldest son remarked, "At least they aren't animals this time."

Breaking News for the Ontario Human Rights Commission...

... involving a public personality named "Mark" and hurtful statements concerning a certain religious group and mosquitoes!!
(Scroll down to #8.)

Oh, wait...it's just someone slagging Christians. Never mind, OHRC. You've got better things to do.

P.S. Googling for news about the OHRC opens up this rich vein of comedy:

Chief Commissioner Barbara Hall today released the Ontario Human Rights Commission's 2009-2010 Annual Report. In issuing this year's report, Ms. Hall stated, "Our work can be summed up in three words: educate, empower and act..."

I think three better words would be,  "Fire. Them. All."


 

A Story About Courage

Life Site News features a story about a Lutheran pastor who

"has been outspoken in his defense of traditional marriage and who has criticized the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America for allowing individuals in active homosexual relationships to serve as clergy."

He also deals with his own feelings of same-sex attraction by devoting himself to prayer and striving to live a life of chastity. That these entirely consistent actions were viewed as hypocritical and in need of exposure highlights the profound misunderstanding many people have regarding orthodox Christian teaching about homosexuality - and about sexuality in general. Christianity says to people who experience same-sex attraction just what it says to the single man attracted to a married woman, to the man who is tempted to drink too much, to the woman who is tempted to spend too much, and to all of us sinners: choose the freedom of life in Christ instead of being enslaved by your passions.

That pretty well sums it up.

Mr. Greydanus posts an amusing and informative illustration contrasting the creative processes at Pixar and Dreamworks.

Competite Your Level!!

This toy my son received at a local restaurant is even more fun when you flip it over and read the instructions:
(Click on image for a larger view.)

For more such fun, see Engrish.com.

Dear Mr. Butt, I am writing this to you....

Now that our Saskatchewan vacation is over, I am treating my homesickness with regular doses of Corner Gas. I love the shots that feature one of my favorite CG characters: the vast and beautiful prairie.

Nothing to get in the way and spoil your view, indeed. Thank you to loyal reader Doris Rose Jones for this lovely photo.

And thank you, Brent Butt. I love you like the ninth brother I never had. (Yes, Jeffy, you are still #8. You did give us the Corner Gas DVDs for Christmas, after all.)