Thursday, March 4, 2010

We are defined by giant inflatable beavers.

At the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver Olympics we learned that "some say what defines us
is something as simple as please and thank you". Now, apparently, the powers that be have changed their minds:

I have no convincing proof of my own prescience, since this was only printed in a gag newspaper that exactly three other people read, but here is my 2006 prediction for the Vancouver games:

The Turin closing ceremonies are going to be a tough act to follow, and in order to be up to the challenge Olympic organizers are even now embarking on a strict regime of hallucinogenic drugs and wine coolers in order to come up with the best possible ideas for the grand opening ceremonies.  Ottawa's own prolific composer Willem Fronk is composing the Olympic theme, "We're Just Glad to be at the Olympics", to which children dressed as beavers will dance around a moose dressed as a pack of bacon.

I wish I'd put money on this.


  1. I think "We're Just Glad to Be at the Olympics" would have made better copy than, "I believe in the power of you and I."

    And what are they going to do with all those big stereotypical Canadian inflatables, anyway? Maybe use them to fly (in a carbon-neutral manner) Michael J. Fox, William Shatner, Catherine O'Hara, Neil Young, and Donald Sutherland back to their homes in L.A.

    Where was Sarah Polley, anyway?

  2. As you pointed out, Mrs. P., I just can't believe someone who starred in "Virus" was allowed anywhere near the opening ceremonies. Was Brent Butt too busy to help carry that giant Canadian flag? Did they even ask him?

  3. I hope they did ask Mr. Butt and he declined on the grounds that it would be beneath his dignity as a true comedian (and Canadian).