Where 'dropping acid' has a whole 'nother meaning

And so, apparently, does the word "friends." Too too sad. 

"No one has claimed the bodies..."

.

If only Mark Steyn had been born in Kenya... er... I mean Hawaii

Then he could run for prez. Because he sure knows a thing or two about a thing or two. Here he is holding forth on the boggy swampy fetid mess that is Obamacare. On Hugh Hewitt:

Say what you like about the Tea Act, but it was a couple of pages long, and it was about tea, and that’s all. And that’s the way real laws are.

and OCR:

By contrast, on the Continent, where many constitutions date all the way back to the disco era (Greece, 1975; Portugal, 1976; Spain, 1978), if the establishment wants to invent a new "right" – i.e., yet another intrusion by government – it goes ahead and does so. If it happens to conflict with this year's constitution, they rewrite it. The United States is the only Western nation in which our rulers invoke the Constitution for the purpose of overriding it – or, at any rate, torturing its language beyond repair.

.

Oh come now

Like a lot of women, I am partial to shoes. But every girl has her limit--and I'm not referring to the number of pairs (though mine, by any standard, is quite modest). I saw these on Facebook the other day, and had to google for the original. Ugliest shoes. Ever. 

No one in her right mind actually takes "high fashion" seriously, but... seriously? 

It is almost inconceivable that the same mind who created these hideous monstrosities is also responsible for this. 

.

Calling on Master Beazly #2

The Lego Boy. I can only get five (maybe 6) of these. Looking for some help here.

Not that Yahoo News is biased or anything...

But calling the completely, perfectly, and absolutely USELESS penny (an inanimate object, mind you) a "victim"? If only unborn babies were pennies! Maybe scores of schoolchildren would rally to save them.

Canada's one cent coin is set to become a victim of the latest Conservative government budget.

Get real. The penny is a byproduct of history, and it's about time. I suppose the Harper government is also responsible for the loss of the ice-hauling industry. Am I a fan of the current Conservative budget? By no means. They only cut the CBC's funding by 11%. I was hoping for something in the neighbourhood of the high 90's. And I'm willing to bet that MPs' pensions (if they are cut at all) won't be cut as deeply as the pensions of federal employees who actually work for a living, like my crop-researcher hubby.

This is an American video, but it explains quite nicely why the penny is so useless. Good riddance at last!

Heading into the weekend

Why not enjoy this rendition of Foggy Mountain Breakdown featuring the late Earl Scruggs, Steve Martin, and some other famous guys...

In honor of our 13th follower

We are exceptionally lucky to have a follower whose blog directs us to this:

 Raining on his parade…
.

(On) Crack Reportage

Could this story get any more shaky? Is any of it actually true?

 Sakisheway, however, reiterated the version of events that she had set out in her letter to Toews, paraphrasing what her daughter recalled of Breitkreuz's speech. She asked that her daughter's name not be made public out of concern that she'd be subjected to unwanted attention. She also declined to provide the names of classmates or a teacher who could corroborate her daughter's version of the event.

...

 Here, according to Sakisheway, are a few snippets of what, according to her daughter, Breitkreuz told the class: "He said he wanted to get rid of the registry because he thinks everyone should have the right to own a gun. If everyone here in Canada carried a gun, it would be safer for people. (The government) should make it easier to access guns so people can protect themselves.'"

Here, according to some lady, are a few snippets of what, according to her kid, someone might have said but which no one else will attest to, paraphrased, or something, and hey, why isn't anyone buying our newspapers anymore?
.

Too busy to blog

Because of music festival. But it's Pundette to the rescue, with her handy "Quoteworthy" sidebar:


If Cardinal Wuerl doesn't have the guts to deny Communion to an agitprop lesbian Buddhist, he should just close up shop and hand the keys to his chancery over to Obama. George Neumayr
.

March of the Spambots, chapter 16

Alternate title: "I await your respond."

Oh, I take it all back. Spambots can be fun! This guy/gal/thing made me laugh out loud. Got this message on Facebook (back when I had a very grim-looking middle-aged lady photo as my profile pic). As opposed to the smiling middle aged lady photo I have now.

Berry Will

• Hi pretty!
  
  Am Berry Will by name, I was searching for a date and came across your profile, honestly you look so gorgeous and beautiful and your calm nature caught my interest in you and send you a mail. Because, my career keeps me busy from searching since I lost my wife 5years ago during her second child birth. Though my words on here are few.
  
  It would be my pleasure to have a meaningful relationship with you so we can explore our possibility and share a warm friendship, if you can take time out to read and reply my mail here on face book if you don't mind.
  
  Thanks
  I await your respond
  
  
  
  
  And, of course, he included a photograph. Can't wait to meet you, Berry! (hint: that's a girl name) and start our cyber dating relationship!
  
  
  
  
  

Well, now it's time to say good-bye...

Rest in peace, Earl Scruggs.

This is the reason I know his name.

Take a drive with me.

Anyone here remember the short story "Night Drive", by William F. Jenkins? I have never forgotten it; in fact I searched it out on the web last night from what I remembered of the opening sentence: "Madge was in the act of turning out the living room lights when the telephone rang...." I studied it in junior high school, a period during which I learned to love the short story. We read so many good ones: "The Monkey's Paw" by W.W. Jacobs, "The Season's Dying" by Eugene Ziller, "Leiningen Versus the Ants" by Carl Stephenson, "Lather and Nothing Else" by Hernando Tellez, and Roald Dahl's "The Landlady", just to name a few.

I read "Night Drive" again last night, and even though it doesn't seem quite as much like great literature as it did when I was twelve, it's still a good spine-tingler and really stands the test of time. Read it here, or listen to it here.

(By the way, Forgotten Classics looks like a site worth getting to know, not least because it leads one to Happy Catholic, another blog by the same author. Looks like a place worth visiting!)

Yesterday's internet ramblings took me to a gallery of covers from books written by the talented author of "Night Drive" (under the pen name Murray Leinster). I would love to get my hands on some of these - Mr. B. and I love this kind of sci-fi/fantasy.

We come in pieces.

Made up words right in the title tell you you're in for a good read.

Why didn't five of them come so this wouldn't be so confusing?

They stole the Gravol, too.

...is very useful if you want to get to...

...but unfortunately you may end up on...

DANG!!

And this was before laptops had even been invented.

 Grab a cola and read along with me!
.

Mrs. B will agree

Not that she's ever read the books, and neither for that matter, have I. But somehow, we just know. 

I actually cried during that montage.

Ready for my closeup.

As some of you may know, I have recently had laser surgery to remove a mole from my nose. I wouldn't blog about something so personal except for that it has made such a remarkable difference in my appearance that I'm afraid even those who know me won't recognize me next time we meet.  I'm really pleased with the result. It was worth the sting of being scoffed at the by dermatologist because I use baby soap to wash my face, and it has lessened the irritation of having been captive to a sales pitch for their super colossal doubleplusgood sunscreen. So, without further ado, here are photographs of the amazing result:

BEFORE

AFTER

All hail the power of lasers!...and my imagination.
.

Well, which is it?

It is very good for women to have the option of being sexually exploited by men, except for when it is very bad for women to have the option of being sexually exploited by men.
.

(Wo)Men Without Chests

"Men with breasts," eh? (I thought that had recently been defined as a "woman".)

It is grimly comical how such people cannot comprehend that someone might disagree with them about abortion.  Apparently they cannot grasp that another person of their sex might not think exactly as they do,  so they start spewing nonsense about how those who disagree aren't real women.

I don't think Babette Josephs' opinions make her not a woman. I just think they make her utterly wrong, and her words make her look incredibly foolish.
.

The Hunter Brothers: A Bumper Crop of Talent

They farm, they play hockey, they sing!

And they're from Shaunavon, Saskatchewan.

Check out the video at TSN.
.

Satan's main strategy

...of 'Divide and Conquer' is alive and well and sitting in a pew next to you.

He was apparently sorry that the bishops were acting in a way that no longer fit the extreme traditionalist narrative, because this might mean that there is still some legitimacy to the Catholic Church most of us live in, as opposed to the fringe societies of the various Pope Pius's, or Pope Me's that these folks inhabit.  

But there was a happy ending to this unfortunate sideshow...

Coffee and Canticles

More on last Friday's HHS Protest here. 
.

Scientists discover why children are often selfish

They abandon concepts like Original Sin, man's fallen human nature, and even common sense. Scientific research into the brain-bleedingly obvious. I still can't believe The Onion isn't involved.

My latest post on MercatorNet's "Family Edge".
.

Well, maybe if they're hungry

I tell you: spambots are EVERYWHERE! I'm sick of getting messages from them. Last weekend, I received two requests on Skype from total strangers. The profile pics were of young, attractive women and their messages were nearly identical: "Hi, was looking for people in your area and you look interesting to talk to."

Yah, right. My Skype profile picture shows four loaves of homemade bread.

.

Dear Catholic Readers: Looking for Feedback

Miss B. will be celebrating her First Communion in a couple of months, and I'd like to purchase a permanent missal for her gift.

I'm looking for recommendations and reviews. Do you recommend a daily missal? Would a Sunday missal be easier for little hands to hold? Who has the best edition out there right now?

Thanks in advance for any contribution to the discussion.
.

One of my top ten preferred email subject headings

"Your Amazon order has shipped!" 

Just a few more sleeps until I get to read this: 

and this!

.

The cowards

Pursuant to my Reader's Digest Goes Cosmo post of the other day...

I just saw the March issue of the magazine. Here, in its entirety, once again, is the letter I sent them: 

We received Reader's Digest as a gift. I generally enjoy the magazine, but occasionally object to what I consider adult content. The February 2012 issue takes the cake. The cover is ugly (looks like an ad for cold sore medicine) and I'm not impressed with the issue contents: 5 Ways to Boost your sex life; Ask a Sex therapist; Who's Your Daddy.

 Since when did RD turn into Cosmopolitan? We have younger children for whom this type of content is not appropriate. It's too much trouble for me to hide Reader's Digest every month. Recycling it upon receipt is a waste of everyone's money. Save some trees. Please cancel our subscription immediately.

Here, in its entirety, is what they printed: 

Since when did Reader's Digest turn into Cosmopolitan?

Which I'm sure some folks took as a funny joke, instead of a snarky mad-as-hell cancellation. RD bravely chose not to print my request to cancel by subscription. No matter. I have since learned of yet more people who have been affirmed in their decision to stop receiving the magazine.
.

.

If some ladies wanted to know what to get some other ladies for some birthdays ending in round numbers which are coming up in the next couple of years

they might think about something like this:

.

Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord

Happy Birthday, Flannery!

 Foreshadowings of fame.

"Awash in Women": the War, continued

Yesterday's Religious Freedom Protest against the HHS mandate. Kathryn Jean Lopez, NRO.

Most priceless pic of the day.

.

In honour of our 1000th post

Take it away, Mrs. B!
.
.
.
.
.
.

All things work together for good to those that love God

So the CDN government is cutting funding to the heavily left-wing-Catholic-not-so-much, "we-have-no-policy-on-abortion" D&P. Government should not be in the business of funding charity period, never mind supposedly church-based organizations. Let us ordinary folk keep more of our tax dollars and we'll fund the charity. The worst thing any religious organization can do is start taking handouts from government.

By the by, I am curious to know exactly what percentage of D&P's annual intake goes to The Poor (TM) and what gets gobbled up by the bloated bureaucracy/staff, PR campaigns, union dues and various other overhead costs.

The funding cut has prompted the union representing D&P employees to circulate a 12-page document criticizing Casey and his team for failing to fight the government. 

Methinks the union is less concerned for The Poor than it is for the union.

The article says that D&P's (overseas) partners will be the ones who suffer 'the most'. No ****, Sherlock. This is likely because, staff layoffs aside, D&P will cut funding to projects before they will dismantle their own bureaucrazy (Freudian typo, but I'll leave it). 

Defunding long-term development partnerships and an increased emphasis on emergency relief is distorting the social justice mandate of D&P, according to the union.
“Without a genuine debate, the mission of the organization is being insidiously changed,” said the document

From your lips to God's ears. But I wouldn't use the term "insidiously" --maybe more like "mysterious ways"--Romans 8:28 and all that. Wouldn't it be great if it became a Catholic charitable organization instead of the Che Guevara fan club? Maybe instead of hissy fits, it's time to just let go and let God. He has a way of bringing good out of evil. In the meantime, there are a lot of other worthy Catholic charities our there.
.

I think I have to add Michael Walsh

to my list of must-reads. He writes on the U.S. election:

But it’s not just economic freedom — it’s freedom itself. (Santorum is right about this.) Mitt’s running on a “jobs” platform, but there’s a much larger issue at stake than simply “putting America back to work.” What if half of America doesn’t want to go back to work? What if the half that pays no federal income taxes likes the current sponge-and-freeload system? How do you get through to folks who’ve grown reliant on the government man to show them the money? How do you get them down from the Big Rock Candy Mountain, where the handouts grow on bushes and they hung the jerk who invented work?

As He Who Must be Obeyed tirelessly points out, the people (specifically, their attitudes) are the problem.
.

"The suicide cult that is the modern Left"

You know we have entered the Twilight Zone when it's 2012 and journalists are using the term "contraceptive activist" with no sense of irony.

The modern Left:

...a subset of libertine takers that so loathes itself that it will dragoon the makers into underwriting the chalices of tasty hemlock it’s so eager for everybody to quaff in order to put itself out of its misery. If, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody, it feels good, do it! Alas, it does hurt somebody — it hurts society, by robbing it of its future and burdening those lucky kids who make it through the contraceptive/abortifacient gauntlet with an unpayable debt to the very people who tried to get rid of them.

[...]

Self-centered Baby Boomer liberalism emerged from the “sexual revolution” of the sixties, and for the past half century Boomers have been trying to escape the consequences of no consequences, which now threaten the underpinnings of the Left’s beloved, bankrupting welfare state. And yet, at the same time, women of child-bearing age demand that somebody — insurance companies, Washington, the pope in Rome — pay for universal contraceptive and abortion services in the name of “women’s health.”

If this is not the definition of a suicide cult — one driven by the leftist insistence that sexual license be, well, licensed by the state, non-judgmentally and consequence-free — it’s hard to know what is. The Shakers had nothing on these people; at least they made furniture.

Michael Walsh, NRO. 

h/t Pundette 
.

Just like clockwork

Stage Four has arrived.
.

The Supreme Court makes it official:

We are not all equal before the law.
.

I got an email from Mark Steyn!

You are cordially invited to join

Mark Steyn 

for an evening of pure 

Steynamite 

with Sun News Network anchor and bestselling author Michael Coren

Metro Convention Centre, Toronto
April 24th, 7:30 pm

Mark Steyn blows up every sacred cow in a celebration of free speech, individual liberty and apocalyptic side-splitters.
Limited tickets available starting at $39.99
Get your tickets while early bird prices are still available

Visit us at www.Steynamite.com
or call us toll free at 1-888-816-1577

Like us at www.facebook.com/steynamite

Which, of course, I immediately wrote to Mrs. Beazly about, and gosh darn if she didn't get one too! Which she explains thusly:

I did get this, but I don't know how. Either they have my email address from
when I purchased books from the Steyn store, or Mark Steyn is so enamored
of our blog that he personally searched us out. It's one of those two.

And I replied:

Yes, it is one of those two because I have purchased things from the Mark Steyn store too.


Steynamite, be there or be square stuck in Saskatchewan (more on that topic later, Mr. S!)
.

"I'll take Jesus Christ for 2000, Alex"

The other day I was testing the youngest Miss Pinkerton (7), who is preparing for First Holy Communion this spring. I have made up some written exams, based on the catechism series we're using (Faith and Life, Ignatius Press--shout out to the one and only Daria Sockey who authored the text we're using this year).

The last question on the exam was multiple choice. "Who is Jesus Christ?" The choices were:
a. the Son of God
b. the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity
c. the Saviour of the whole world
d. a special friend who loves us and wants to live in our hearts
e. all of the answers above

Miss P. chortled confidently and responded as if she were on Jeopardy and about to score on the daily double, "I'll have to take E!"

There are a lot of grown-ups would couldn't answer that question correctly.
.

YOU GO, FREEDOM-LOVING AMERICANS!!

Wish we could be there with you. Give em hell... and I mean that in a good way.

War on Women: cooking and copulating

I'm referring to the attitude of some slack-jawed hillbilly, right? Think OWS-left-lib-Dem-MSM types instead. 

Misogyny and male chauvinism run deep in the roots of the modern Left. Many think that the gender feminist movement of the seventies, started by Gloria Steinem and others, was a reaction against the conventional culture of the fifties and early sixties, with its casual assertions of male superiority and paternalism [...]  But it was at least as much, if not more, a reaction against the male chauvinist pigs of the so-called New Left on campus in the mid-to-late sixties, in which the men would write up the manifestos and plan the demonstrations, expecting nothing more of the women than to satisfy their appetites by cooking for and copulating with them. Basically, it was barefoot (or naked) in the kitchen, hopefully without the pregnancy, but for which abortions were required in the event of accidents.

Read it. 
Rand Simberg at PJ Media's Daily Digest.
.

Lifestyles of the Stressed and Mundane

Anthropologists from UCLA study middle flass families in Southern California, by living with them for a week and videotaping their every waking moment.

“The researchers noted that the presence of the observers may have altered some of the families' behavior.”


No, really?

My latest Family Edge post at MercatorNet.com
.

Another hockey stick graph for global warming

Further to Mrs. P.'s post below, global warming will either take away your skinny or take away your shinny:

 A team of Canadian climate scientists is predicting the widespread disappearance of outdoor hockey rinks across the country in the next 50 years due to global warming — with some regions of the sport’s spiritual birthplace likely to witness an even earlier eclipse of old-time shinny on natural ice.

So look out, because GLOBAL WARMING IS COMING!!!...to everywhere except Newfoundland:

The historical warming effect was noticeable but not as significant in Ontario and Quebec, while research sites in Atlantic Canada showed, overall, no significant change in the durability of outdoor rinks over the past half-century.

...

Referring to southern B.C. and Alberta in particular, the researchers stated: “In the most extreme case of the Southwest Canada region, a simple linear extrapolation of the OSS (outdoor skating season) length trend from the last 30 years of our record into the future shows that the number of viable rink-flooding days could reach zero by mid-century.”

 Yes, and a simple linear extrapolation of the temperature in Ottawa over the next three days shows that it will be -330 degrees Celcius by June 1!!  That should make for some good skating.
 
I thought this study was looking at the years since 1951. However much I feel like an 8 year old, 1951 wasn't 30 years ago - I've even done the math. What was the trend between 1951 and 1982?  Or did that data reveal an inconvenient truth?

Kate McMillan at Small Dead Animals collects examples of the MSM dinosaur's suicidal tendencies under "Not Waiting for the Asteroid". Everyone who ran with this non-story is apparently "Not Waiting for Global Warming", either.
.

Global Warming (TM) fear-mongers changing tactics

The annual 60-minute Prostration to Gaia (Earth Hour) is just around the corner: 8:30 pm, Saturday, March 31--mark your calendars and leave up those Christmas lights!

I guess the alarmism of 1,000-year predictions of sea-level rise didn’t quite catch on. Plan B? Scare people about their health. 

NRO.

Judging by the appearance of Al Gore, they may be onto something. He's evidently being afflicted by some alarming-looking swelling of the face and body.

(Oh my! That was uncalled for! We all know that obesity is an epidemic!! No one really knows what causes it or where it will strike next! And there is NO CURE! Save us, Michelle Obama!)
.

Mark Steyn does left-lib media a favour

By providing this handy template for all future news stories involving Islamic extremists:

Stage One: The strange compulsion to assure us that the killer is a “right wing conservative extremist,” [...]
Stage Two: Okay, he may be called Mohammed but he’s a “lone wolf.” [...]
Stage Three: Okay, even if there are enough lone wolves around to form their own Radio City Rockette line, it’s still nothing to do with Islam. [...]
Stage Four: The backlash that never happens.

Read it all.  

World DS Day part II

You need to visit Sarah's blog, read her post on this topic and watch this beautiful video.  I held my composure until the one altar server fell prostrate before the elevated Eucharist. It begs the question: who among us is actually 'handicapped'? I think I know.
.

World Down Syndrome Day

I didn't even know there was one, but today is apparently the first. I read about it on Facebook. (Thank you, Alex Schadenberg, for posting about this great event.)

I had to include this beautiful video that Alex posted on FB. Get your kleenex ready.



And now, for my own small contribution, a column I wrote for Catholic Insight to mark the life and  death of our own dear little Aunt Tillie who had Down Syndrome. Oddy enough, I had a vivid dream about her last night, which I have not done for a long while.

The War on Women: bring it on

Libby Sternberg at Hot Air.

Don’t be fooled, sisters. There might be a “war on women” out there, but it’s coming as much from the left who want to silence the half of American women who don’t agree with liberals on abortion policy. According to their “rules of engagement,” these women–pro-lifers or their admirers– deserve to be called any name in the misogynist’s lexicon.

Read it. 
.

Just sayin

And for once, it's someone other than Mark Steyn sayin it!

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, only a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their president". (Czech Republic newspaper Prager Zeitungon (4-28-10)..

I finally got published by Reader's Digest!

Now that it doesn't matter any more. And no, it wasn't an article (as if). It was a letter to the editor.

We received RD a couple of years ago as a gift. Occasionally there would be stories that raised an eyebrow (like detailed descriptions of sexual assault and the like), so I was always a bit leery about leaving the mag. lying around where my 7-12 year olds could read it.

But the Feb, 2012 issue was the last straw. The minute it came into the house, I took it straight to my room and hid it. Then I went to the computer and wrote to cancel my sub.

Time to quit the New York Times?

Oh yes.

From the pen (or keyboard more likely) of the brilliant Carolyn Moynihan, deputy-editor of MercatorNet.com, on the cowardly, declining, and increasingly irrelevant Gray Lady of journalism.

People have all sorts of gripes against their mother -- until someone else starts insulting her; then they remember whose child they are.

Who (whom?) are you calling weird?

The Steyn weighs in on Santorum.

Rick Santorum is a crazed, stern-faced theocrat who wishes to impose a Christian version of sharia law on America and round up gays and single mothers. "That's certainly why I'm supporting him," I say.

[...] 

Let's take it as read that Rick Santorum is weird. After all, he believes in the sanctity of life, the primacy of the family, the traditional socio-religious understanding of a transcendent purpose to human existence. Once upon a time, back in the mists of, ooh, the mid–20th century, all these things were, if not entirely universal, sufficiently mainstream as to be barely worthy of discussion. Now they're not. Isn't the fact that conventional morality is now "weird" itself deeply weird? The instant weirdification of ideas taken for granted for millennia is surely mega-weird — unless you think that our generation is possessed of wisdom unique to human history. In which case, why are we broke?

Read the rest here.  
.

Finally, a practical use for cheerleaders

This could also qualify for our Killer Headlines file. "Man Saved from Death...by Cheerleaders"
 Creative Minority Report

Covered in grease and blood, the gentleman was disoriented but otherwise ok.

.

I should read this guy more often

Daniel Hannan. 

Of course, deep down, we Britons knew that there was something bogus about the goody-goody, officious Canada that Mark Steyn calls ‘Trudeaupia’. We remember Canadians as allies on the battlefield. Any British veteran will tell you that, in the two wars, Canadian soldiers had a reputation for grim and terrible courage. Eisenhower used to remark (in private, obviously) that, man for man, they were the finest troops under his command. We, of all people, should be delighted to find them back to their old ways.

[...]

I don’t want to overstate things. Canada’s liberal elites have been repulsed, not replaced. They still run the bureaucracies, fill the university faculties and set the dominant media narrative. They can often rely on human rights activists and Left-wing judges to advance the agenda that was defeated at the ballot box.

And so we continue to fight. If you need a shot of courage and inspiration, you can find it here. (Hannan's speech at CPAC)
.

Ma Nature's lyrical with her yearly miracle

.

Is Flint's last name "Dynamite", by any chance?

This is marvelis.

h/t Sobering Thoughts
.

The Smorgasbord Stations of the Cross

Oy, I’m so very, very tired of these things. An elderly relative recently complained that in his parish they had to pray some hippy-dippy environmentalist Peace ‘n Justice™ Stations of the Cross. These have been around forever—well, since the late 60’s, but according to the Followers of the Spirit of Vatican II, that is when the Church really began.

More and more parishes are turning back to the many beautiful traditional versions of the Stations of the Cross. You know, the ones that meditate upon (as crazy as it sounds) the actual Passion of Jesus Christ, that guy who died on the cross to redeem all of creation. And not so that 2000 years on, we could bow down and worship trees.

But you still see the odd abomination around: The Wimmin’s Way of the Cross; The Wounded Earth Stations of the Cross; The Dustbowl Farmers’ Stations of the Cross; The Self-absorbed Teenagers’ Stations of the Cross (The 10^th Station: Jesus is stripped of his garments: we pray for those who feel ostracized because they can’t afford the designer clothing that everyone else is wearing); The Animal Rights Activists’ Stations of the Cross; The Morbidly Obese Dissenting Nuns Stations of the Cross. (Some of the preceding are real and some are made up, but the sad part is, you probably can’t tell).

I still remember suffering through my first such Way of the Cross. I was so irked that (of course) I had to write about it to purge myself. It was printed in the March, 1999, issue of Catholic Insight. How I wish such columns were out of date.

Hymn to St. Joseph

However you may see him...

HYMN

Great Saint Joseph, son of David,

Foster-father of our Lord,

Spouse of Mary, ever virgin,

Keeping o’er them watch and ward:

In the stable thou didst guard them

With a father’s loving care;

Thou by God’s command didst save them

From the cruel Herod’s snare.

Three long days, in grief, in anguish,

With that mother sweet and mild,

Mary Virgin, didst thou wander,

Seeking her beloved Child.

In the temple thou didst find Him:

Oh, what joy then filled thy heart!

In thy sorrows, in thy gladness,

Grant us, Joseph, to have part.

Clasped in Jesus’ arms and Mary’s,

When death gently came at last,

Thy pure spirit, sweetly sighing,

From its earthly dwelling passed.

Dear Saint Joseph, by that passing

May our death be like to thine,

And with Jesus, Mary, Joseph,

May our souls forever shine.

Melody: Hyfrydol 87.87 D

Melody: Rowland H. Pritchard, 1811-1877

Text: Slovak

Translation: Louis C. Casartelli

(See that? Text: Slovak. Go, Slovaks!)
.

Passing this on

At Daria's suggestion. She writes, on her blog:

This poem, which is sometimes titled "Holy Saturday", is appropriate for the upcoming Triduum, but also for today's solemnity. Even if you are not a huge fan of poetry, I guarantee you will be moved by this one. If this your first time reading it, pass it on to anyone else you know who loves St. Joseph.

Limbo by Sister Mary Ada, OSJ

The ancient greyness shifted

Suddenly and thinned

Like mist upon the moors

Before a wind.

An old, old prophet lifted

A shining face and said:

“He will be coming soon.

The Son of God is dead;

He died this afternoon.”

A murmurous excitement stirred

All souls.

They wondered if they dreamed –

Save one old man who seemed

Not even to have heard.

And Moses, standing,

Hushed them all to ask

If any had a welcome song prepared.

If not, would David take the task?

And if they cared

Could not the three young children sing

The Benedicite, the canticle of praise

They made when God kept them from perishing

In the fiery blaze?

A breath of spring surprised them,

Stilling Moses’ words.

No one could speak, remembering

The first fresh flowers,

The little singing birds.

Still others thought of fields new ploughed

Or apple trees

All blossom-boughed.

Or some, the way a dried bed fills

With water

Laughing down green hills.

The fisherfolk dreamed of the foam

On bright blue seas.

The one old man who had not stirred

Remembered home.

And there He was

Splendid as the morning sun and fair

As only God is fair.

And they, confused with joy,

Knelt to adore

Seeing that He wore

Five crimson stars

He never had before.

No canticle at all was sung

None toned a psalm, or raised a greeting song,

A silent man alone

Of all that throng

Found tongue –

Not any other.

Close to His heart

When the embrace was done,

Old Joseph said,

“How is Your Mother,

How is Your Mother, Son?”

May you have a blessed Solemnity of St. Joseph as you continue your Lenten pilgrimage.

.

 

The most eloquent job offer

I have ever received. This is part of an email I received last month from the editor of The Record, a Catholic newspaper published in Perth, Western Australia.

One of our regular columnists... has recently asked to take a break from writing for us for a while, perhaps some months. [...] Would you be interested in coming on board for a while?

I have always tried to maintain the presence of an at-home mother columnist for a number of reasons, one of them being that it is one way of reaffirming the importance of mothers and motherhood in the face of a culture that regards this role as being a second or third-best option compared to other, perhaps more glamorous but ultimately less fulfilling roles, in the workforce.

The general brief is to to write pretty much on anything from the perspective of a mother who is a believing and practising Catholic. The Record is a big fan of Benedict XVI and his predecessors. We think the sometimes-difficult nature of the Church's teachings are there for good reasons and we're interested in writers who can be counter-cultural and help show that Catholic Christianity is not completely dumb. We're unashamedly pro-life, pro-marriage and pro-family among other things but whereas many people think the Church is irrelevant and out of date we very definitely take the opposite view.

Gosh, how can you say no to that? And why would you want to? I start this week. I know DOH doesn't have many Australian readers who are in a position to support the paper version of this publication (it's been printing since the mid 1800s! Kudos), but everyone can access the online version and give the editorial staff positive feedback for the work they do to advance the New Evangelization. 

.

Fourth Sunday in Lent

My kids were fooling around with the PhotoBooth thingy on my Mac, and one of them took this pic. I thought it was kind of cool and all inadvertently symbolic. The bracelets remind me of Christ's crown of thorns; the rays remind me of Divine Mercy; the hand is outstretched in praise, and even the old brass piano lamp makes me think of the monstrance. And of course, there is the Cross, unaltered, at the Centre of it all.

To mark an even dozen

Follwers, that is. One of my collection of what I like to term Flannery's Killer Metaphors. Gosh, but that lady could write!

(background: the protagonist has just taken a swig of moonshine)

“A burning arm slid down Tarwater’s throat as if the devil were already reaching inside him to finger his soul.”

Short story "You Can’t Be Any Poorer Than Dead"

.

Steynamite: It'll be like fertility drugs for your brain!

I will not even demand that the government pay for my ticket under the HHS (High Hilarity of Steyn) mandate, although  regular doses are critical for excellent mental health.

Here's your weekly booster shot.

Update: Thanks for the link, Mr. Steyn! (My simile was indeed meant as a compliment.)

Thanks also to Pundette  for the sidebar seat of honor.
.

I bind unto myself today...

Here's one of my favorites, sung by the choir at our beloved St. Patrick's Basilica.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

.

DOH Danny Boy

Because every St. Patrick's Day needs a little Pogues.

.

First it was the Mohammed cartoons

And now this. I love Denmark. Really really love it. And not just because their good people inspired the name for these:

Baked by Miss P. #3 Easter, 2010

But because they have funny journalists. The audacity of dope.



h/t Deborah Gyapong on FB. I know, I know. Why don't I just link ALL my posts to DG's blog and be done with it?
.

Why is it

That when you go to the hairstylists, you ask for this:

But you end up with something like this:

Eeeeeeeeeeeek!!

or this:

...which is totally cute on David Cassidy... in 1974, but on a 40-something (extremely 40-something) mother of 7 in 2012, not so much.


(UPDATE)
Or this, which is kinda what it looked like after I tried styling it at home:

Hey, maybe if I wore a gold jumpsuit, no one would notice my hair!

Oy vay. Looks like I'm going to have to wear a ponytail till July (and thank the Lord that I still have enough to put into a ponytail). Or get it cut super-short, which (as Daria attests) makes husband sad. 

.

Because every once in a while

You want to read something by someone who loves Mark Steyn as much as you do.

I, along with many others, almost died listening to Mark Steyn — from laughter. It’s rare to hear somebody make so much sense in such an entertaining fashion, although his cover of 1970s disco hit ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ probably won’t trouble the YouTube hit parade. But then again, you never know. Particularly if he sticks to that dazzling tie and ‘kerchief combo.

"Silence this Infidel" by Rowan Dean, The Spectator, Australia.

Mrs. B, next time he comes to Ottawa, we're going, even if we have to panhandle outside the basilica to afford our tickets.
.

An uplifting celebrity story

Yes, you read that correctly. In a culture where marriage is sometimes non-existent, or some marriages last only 23 minutes, Jon and Dorothea Bon Jovi (yes, she took his surname--isn't that quaint!) celebrate a whopping 23 (twenty-three) YEARS of marriage this year. And they have 4 (count them, FOUR) children, who by appearance, seem to be their own flesh and blood. (Adoption is wonderful, BTW, as long as it's done for love of the child, and not to get onto the front page of People magazine).

I wish them well, and pray for another 23 years...

Read more: my latest post at "Family Edge" on MercatorNet. (Mr. Blurn will appreciate this story, because "You Give Love a Bad Name" is one of his favourite hymns.)
.

An amusing snippet

...today on a quick car trip to Saskatoon for some tedious government business, followed by too many stops for other things. This was on the freeway en route to a mall, after having just bought a bunch of groceries in a horrible warehouse style store:

Mrs. Pinkerton (to Miss P #4): Do you remember that Jane Eyre series that we started watching on Netflix?
Miss P: Yes
Mrs. P: Well, I just saw a DVD of it in the grocery store--for $5!
Miss P: Did you buy it?
Mrs. P: No, Dad wouldn't let me.
Mr. P (indignantly): What?! That's not true! I never said a word about it!
Mrs. P (calmly): I can read your mind.
Mr. P (defiantly): Then what am I thinking right now?
Mrs. P (confidently): You are wishing you could just go home because you're tired and you hate shopping.
Mr. P (sheepishly): OK

End of conversation.

I had an unfair advantage. It's pretty easy to know what the average man in thinking when he's been up since 6 a.m. and he is smack in the middle of a multi-mall shopping jaunt with his wife and teenage daughter.
.

Hola!

Oh, if only DOH had a category for "Shameless self-promotion --in Spanish." I was googling for an online article about a talk I'd given at a conference a few years ago, and came across this Spanish translation of one of my MercatorNet posts from last year, "Guys vs Men". But here it's "Hombres vs Chicos". Heh.
.

Six little words

Explain SO much.

found at American Papist. H/t Deborah Gyapong on FB.

.

Where has Gloria Purvis been all my life?

Not yet born, in all likelihood, since she's a couple of decades younger than I am. I was blown away by this video, which I watched at Deborah Gyapong's blog. May God send scores more like her!



Ok, after a little more digging, I found out she's co-hosting a new show on EWTN: "Authentically Free at Last." Sounds fantasic, and very timely.

Just in case your brain doesn’t hurt enough this morning

Seen recently in a nearby city, printed on a van belonging to a professional janitorial service:

“Business co-operation with us guarantees a professional attitude towards the duties you have entrusted us.”

I can think of a shorter motto: “We do cleaning, not grammar.”

.